update, what update?

I feel like now is the time that I should have some sort of update, but I am still standing still. 

I have decided that I think that it is about time that I do something about it; what that is, I am still not sure. 

I know that medication (which I have taken before for depression) would help, however it is not the right option. We have started trying again, so medication would not be an option. Now I am just not sure if speaking to someone will be helpful. Whenever I tell a new person about what I experienced, I break down. I can't help but re-live as I explain the process and the pain as I think back. I start feeling everything all over again. I know what the root of my pain is, but could therapy actually help me cope?

I have also contemplated going back to church. I haven't been in a church, or attended a service in over a decade. 

I just feel so empty. Something is missing. I am lost and I need to find myself. Maybe I need help finding Bailey again.