These past months I have really tried to get my self out of the depression, and I think that it may be working. I am still sad often, but I am becoming less useless, and trying to actually do things.
I decided that physically moving my body should help me move forward, after a light bulb moment when speaking to a friend.
to keep myself motivated I got a fitbit. I started a little at home workout, that I can do without having to leave, and Mike and I started walking a couple times a week (when we see eachother) now that the weather is getting so nice.
I also went to church for the first time in a long time last week, and I plan on continuing going forward. I was debating whether or not I should go today, but today would have been too hard. Since I have only gone once, the idea of bawling in front of complete strangers was not the first impression that I was really looking to make.
Today was out due date. And I have been able to keep it together so far, but I know that I would not have been able to at a place where I feel so vulnerable.
Today I will spend with Mike. The only time I really feel like things will be okay is when I am with him. Today is a day for us, for grieving and for looking toward the future.
I can get pregnant. We will have children. Moving forward, looking ahead, thinking positively.
